I’ve been working hard on making my life lighter, more fun. And thus I perked up seeing
the May 20, New York Times Blog on Forgiveness. Tim Herrera, their Smarter Living
Editor has great information—which I’m quoting:
“In broad strokes, full forgiveness has four actions, according to Dr. Frederic Luskin,
founder of the Stanford Forgiveness Project. But before that, we need to recognize three things:
Forgiveness is for you, not the offender.
It’s best to do it now. And it’s about freeing yourself–forgiving someone doesn’t mean you have to like what they did or become their friend.
From there, here are four tactics to use:
- Calm yourself down in the moment. “You have to counter-condition the stress response when it happens,” Dr. Luskin said.
- Shift how you think and talk about the source of your grudge. “Change your story from that of a victim to a more heroic story,” he said.
- Pay attention to the good things in your life to balance the harm.
- Remind yourself of one simple truth: “Life doesn’t always turn out the way we want it to.”
Tim Herrera invites readers to respond: “So tell me about your most petty grudge on Twitter at @timherrera.”
I guess I need to add that I’m not fascinated hearing forgiveness stories–I’m too busy working out my own hassles!